The rise, flight, and regular crashes of the..

• Have had a mini shop-a-thon online over the last couple of days, bringing in the bacon for Christmas! The trouble is, Im a little confused over how Im going to ship the buggers all up to Stoke. Santa may have to buy a sack!
• Some serious talks commenced with the cuddle whore last night. After a brief clearing of the air, we resumed cuddleage and all was ok in the world of the whore bags.
• Tried my Christmas shirt on this morning before work and it fits lovely. So I have to make sure on the Christmas party day, I do not eat/drink anything at all. I am going to see if I can find someone with a damned good drug habit and just snort cocaine and inject heroin all night instead of consuming fluids and foods. (Mummy, If you are reading this, am joking.)
• Going to an enagagement party tonight with the cuddle whore and first time am going to meet some of his friends from work. It has already been confirmed yesterday that I am not the "cute" one and so I am going to have to put a bit of effort into my presentation to ensure that I look like I could "suit" him. Pah.

xxx

• Tragedy has occured. Lovely new shirt that I tried on at weekend.. and that fit at weekend.. no longer fits. In fact, has big pulling stretching marks around the chest where my nipples are screaming to come out to play. Am not happy. Only one thing for it. Crash diet.... someone pass me a stick of celery to munch on!?
• Party on saturday is looming... My guests are going to include the Cuddle Whore, Fun Time Stacey and Kevin Glowstick (a nice guy from work..)  Am getting excited now!
• Pressy buying for xmas is nearly complete now. Just got mother and the Cuddle Whore to buy for and then I am done.
• Called the cuddle whore by his real name at work the other day and noone knew who I was talking about. Thinking about asking him to offiicially change his name so that I dont have to explain to everyone who he is.
• Nearly ended up committing murder at work yesterday. Girl who I work with goes on... and on and on ... and on... about nothing.. and everything... and something... A bit like I do here only you dont have a choice on whether you pay attention to her because she is right in your face.  I am also her personal skivvy and she doesn't appreciate anything that I do for her which just winds me up.  I thought I could put up with anyone but in the end I had to request a desk move... Told them that otherwise I would end up throwing her out of a window!

xxx

• Met Cuddle Whores folks last night. Awkwardness on toast. Am very family friendly once I get going but unfortunately the engine on my personality failed to kick in which just left me giving shy looks and one word answers.  Cuddle whore then cooked me very huge, very delicious Lamb roast along with home made stuffing, pigs in blankets, cauliflower cheese, roasted sweet potatoes, potatoes, red onions, leeks, along with Yorkshire puddings. Was lovely. Cuddle whore will make someone a very good wifey one day!
• Fear that may have come to the height of my good luck on weight situation. A few people have said that I have noticeably lost some weight which has pleased me greatly. However, eating habits have changed recently back to the old times and think am back on the slippery slope to the fatclub.
• Could just eat an indian takeaway.

xxx

 

• Had lovely weekend in Stoke with the family this weekend. Finally got meat and potato pie on Friday night after years in waiting. Was worth it though. The dame truly can cook when she sets her mind to it! Im hoping for pate when I next visit. Was a little sad when I left yesterday as realised will now not see them until 23rd December.. Thats one whole month.. But unfortunately it is just the way the cookie has crumbled with parties/Holidays and whatnot! Love my family I do.
• Had night out on Saturday with the Dame and Beverley Anne. Feels like ages since we have all been together and had merryments. What with babies, boyfriends, work and money, it isnt always the easiest thing to arrange. Think we made up for it though! Paraleticdom definitely took place. And apparantly got to pull my own pint.. tho, this I cannot remember.
• The throat/head is 100% better now. However, have got a bit of a dicky tummy and sicky feeling. While on train packed like sardine yesterday, went green sweaty and threw up everywhere... all down myself, all over the wall and a little bit in the toilet as I only just made it through the crowds in time. Unfortunately, the train was THAT packed that people were crowded IN the toilet which meant that everyone bore witness to it... and to my undressing out of my sicky clothes... and to my attempt at cleaning sick off the wall... Embarrassment hit off the radar... going to send email to train company when I get spare chance. Not paying to be packed into train like sardine and perform throwing up stunts for crowds of onlookers!
• Cuddle whore came around last night and we watched "The Devil Wears Prada"... Very good movie and was nice and toasty warm under duvet on sofa. Actually becoming quite fond of him and not the kind of fondness that one gets for the homeless, or stray dog. A genuine fondness of spending time with him. And I maintain, could pop him as decoration on Chrismas tree as he is so pretty..

Name: Adrian Williams
Birthday: 13th July 1984
Birthplace: Stoke On Trent, UK
age: 24
Current Location: My sisters living room
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5 ft 10
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Not gorra clue...
The Shoes You Wore Today: My cream ones with brown straps
Your Weakness: Takeaways
Your Fears: Aeroplanes and spiders
Your Perfect Pizza: Ham and mushroom with sweetcorn
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Lose a bit of weight
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol/LMAO when Im not really laughing
Thoughts First Waking Up: Oh god, not work again...
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyebrows.. ?
Your Bedtime: Anywhere between 9pm-4.30am
Your Most Missed Memory: Im not sure what this means...
Pepsi or Coke: diet coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonalds every time.. .
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Not had either I dont think...
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee
Do you Smoke: Nopies... Vile habit!
Do you Swear: all the fucking time
Do you Sing: Only in the shower or when noone else is around!
Do you Shower Daily: Yes
Have you Been in Love:  Obviously not in love enough cos Im single..
Do you want to go to College: Never went, never regretted going
Do you want to get Married: One day, yes
Do you believe in urself: Nahh, not really
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: not particularly.. I am an acquired taste.
Are you a Health Freak: nope
Do you get along with your Parents: Yep, love em to bits
Do you like Thunderstorms: No, cos I worry about my mum cos she has a phobia.
Ever been Drunk: Quite often
Ever been called a Tease: Always... All makeup, no tits I am!
Ever been Beaten up: Yep, once or twice...
Ever Shoplifted: When i was about 10 yes...
How do you want to Die: Happy
What country would you most like to Visit: India, and its one of the only places that would get me back on an aeroplane.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: brown
Favourite Hair Color: brown/black
Short or Long Hair: Short
Height: Tall
Weight: Chunky but not fat

Best Clothing Style: Casual
Number of Drugs I have taken: I had a dabble at one point but nothing too heavy
Number of CDs I own: About 5
Number of Piercings: 3, ear, tongue and nipple
Number of Tattoos: 1
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Too many to choose from but am learning by my mistakes.

• Have come down with terrible lurgy. Throat feels like it may fall off and having hot flushes as lady in menopause would. Got sent home from work yesterday and last night the cuddle whore came to the rescue, bringing lovely food (I noticed there were even a few supermarkets finest range in there) and even some medication (Ben and Jerrys and Green and Blacks choc flapjack biscuits.)  I will be eternally grateful for looking after me in my hours of need. Have rang in sick today as still feel as though someone has got a razor to my throat.

xx

• Bit of a mad weekend... Been pissed for most of it. Birmingham was fun on Saturday night although did have to look after the cuddle whore when he started spewing his guts up. Or at least, that was excuse he came up with for having dirty knees.
• Bad judgement on Saturday shopping meant ended up looking like lumberjack on Saturday night when out. Was a little devastated but couldnt not wear it as was new top. Braved the lumberjack jokes well though. Even gave a few hearty butch "ARRRGHS" to humour the gays.
• Starting to look like I may hit my sales target for the first month this month. Had a few fat invoices that have come out to play and I am starting to get a little excited! Money Money Money!!
• Dame Kazduck has promised Meat and Potato pie this Friday. I am so excited, I think I may give a lil girly squeel if it all goes through!
• Got told no less than 5 times yesterday that I was stunning... For weeks, noone has even told me that I am even presentable, then all of a sudden I am Mr Gay UK for a day! Bizarre folk, gays! x

 

• Above is photo of me and Meera last night. Got very drunken and disorderly and have felt terrible all day today.  Tonight is Fitlads drinkathon in Birmingham. Gonna have to surface shortly to start plucking and preening myself in prep.
• Looked at bank account today and have been paid! Not meant to go into account until Monday but payday came early. Tears of joy followed by a spendathon in town! (new top and vodka)

xx

I like this song but I like the video even more!!

• Very proud of self right now. Stayed in last night and was asleep for 11pm at the very latest. Woke up this morning feeling fabulous. Walked in work and didn't get usual looks of sympathy mixed with disgust. Woopee!
• Got night out with friend Meera and Harvi tonight. Taking the cuddle whore along as guest.  Should be a good night but only have pennies to spend as tomorrow is big gay night out in Brum with the Fitlads (whom the majority of, should be done under the trading standards act - the ugly barstewards!)
• Having an "indian food" day at work today! We have Bhajis, Samosas, and Meera has brought me in yummy yummy veggie curry with rice! Ill be honest, I could marry her mother as her cooking is the best... would quite happily shag her boyfriend too! (ongoing joke that we have...) She simply has the whole package for me!!

xxx

• Much happier this morning. Amused myself by hiding from the woman that was picking me up and taking me to work which meant she had to do a 400 metre run to find me....long story.
• As stated last night... am indeed a puppy dog clown but not unhappy as one. People just need to know that even a puppy dog clown has down days. Do like to make people smile though.
• Another night of Disney tonight. Got a 3 month free trial with Lovefilm again. Aladdin is the chosen one today. Feel may break into "a whole new world" as loud as lungs can muster. Altho, dont wanna scare the cuddle whore coming around. He hasn't heard me sing yet.
• Decided that weight watchers cakes are not a good thing. Altho only 75 calories per carrot cake slice, slices are so dainty and tasty that feel have to eat 7 of them to fill gap. Not good.
• Definitely not out tomorrow night. Having a Thursday night off so work do not suspect alcoholism taking place. Next week will be back to old tricks.

Have a great day everyone. xxxx

  A night time blog... Makes a change from a work time blog where I am rushing to get it all completed before my break ends. Had a strange night tonight.  Im not sure quite where it began but I think it was when I chatted to Andy (my ex Andy) and he told me that he had been made redundant from work. How much bad luck can one person have. First he splits with me (which obviously as he is only human would have devastated him..) then his gran dies whom he was really close to and which is simply awful, and then to add insult to what Id say is quite serious injury, he gets made redundant from his job. By the sounds of things, he has decided that enough is enough and is upping and going to Australia for a few months to chill out. After everything, I cant say I blame him. I think that started me on a bit of a downer.. and I got to thinking, at work I tend to be everyones play thing... I make people laugh, even when Im getting my hair off and preparing to throw the PC out of the window, they think I'm funny. I'm their little clown puppy dog... And then when I come home, after doing my weekly food shop, if im feeling a bit down then theres noone to make me smile, and to tickle my chin, and to ask me if I had a good day.  

 I got chatting to Dame Kazduck, my mum online, and we were talking about this and that... and I was telling her how I felt... People in Stoke only want me around nowadays when they want something from me. Family that I used to see several times a week only ever want me to visit if they need something doing. And I have come to the end of my tether with it all. When I am in Stoke-On-Trent, I am meant to be visiting the people that want me to be there and instead I find myself sometimes running around after people who any other time would not want me there. So I made an executive decision tonight that they can all fuck off for a bit...

I also told my mum that one of the things I want is for her to be happy... More than I want myself to be happy and as much as I want my immediate family i.e. my dad and my sister to be happy.  My family mean the world to me, even though we are not with each other every day and I'd love to think that my mum will meet someone else who she falls in love with, as my dad has been lucky enough to.  I know there will always be a barrier between my mum and my dad and I dont think that it will be at very least softened until my mum meets her prince. And I believe that he is out there for her.  I just wanted her to know that I do believe he is out there as we spend so much time joking around with her that she will never meet her match and I am probably one of the ones most to blame for this. I also wanted her to know, that even though we say it every time we speak and every time I am online with her, that I love her and it was at this point that I got more than a little bit teary.  But anyway, there is someone for everyone... its just a case of whether the fuckers are hiding...

  so thats all i wanted to say really... Bit of rant for me and I'll be genuinely surprised if anyone other than the 3 people I know ready this actually get to the bottom of it.. But if so, thanks for reading guys.. And good night, god bless, from Halmerend Club.
xxx

• Amused myself on way to work this morning with thoughts of last night and the odd sneaky smile crossing over my lips. Smile soon wiped off smug face when arrived at work. Reality kicked in. Am now mizzog.
• Bought some noodles from little indian shop.. on checking calorie and fat content, am mortally wounded. 433 cals with 17.5G of fat, and they are about half the size of super noodle pack.
• Weighing in at 11 stone 12 at the moment... Want to lose bit of belly but not altogether miserable with that. As long as not touching 12 stone, am happy.

xx

• Did anyone notice the weekend zoom by? Admittedly, was pissed for most of it. However, managed lie in yesterday until 2pm. Must have needed kip but not the almighty hangover that came from 2pm onwards. *note to self*  Must have a quieter week now though. Body cannot cope with constant hangover and scared that liver will eventually fail.
• Did not amuse myself with anything while walking to work this morning. Was filled with too many Monday morning blues. Crossed my fingers and hoped that someone had burnt hell hole down. When saw hell hole with not even wisp of smoke coming from it and staring defiantly back at me, briefly considered setting it on fire myself... But had no matches/lighter as not smoker. Damn and blast.
• Need to start thinking about Christmas presents for family. Already been told what to buy Jaya but there is another lil un to consider this year so am going to have to trawl the internet for ideas.
• Official house party has been arranged for 29th November. It is a "fuck the credit crunch - lets get pissed/Gaydies Housewarming" party and me and Mikey are considering themes at the moment! Any ideas  

xxx

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposite?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? i.e. 21 = twenty one, 31 = thirty one etc.

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and
forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks, instead
of chopsticks?

16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

22. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags'
and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?

24. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

25. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?

• Bought new shirt today from River Island. Am aware cant afford it but thought it would look pretty tonight. Actually considering doing a few sit ups before I move.
• To have a shave or to not have a shave, this is the question.
• Not drinking much tonight.... *ahem*

Ok.. I know its bad. I just received one of them circular emails.. One of the sad ones that you know are not real...and yet I found myself sitting in front of my screen with tears rolling down my face.

Am an emotional wreck. Gonna be carting me off in a straight jacket.
xx

• Got big comfy bobbly coat back along with IPOD and house keys, courtesy of Beverley Anne. Means no longer cold, bored and lonely on way to work.
• Been to sun bed tonight that is going to be followed by night out with the girls (boys).. Asked Kazduck if she will ensure am awake and in the shower tomorrow morning again so that am not late for work!
• Went to the local Theatre in Coventry last night to see "The house of Bernarda Alba"... What a load of old rubbish it turned out to be! T housemate actually nodded off a few times during the performance! Oops!

Ooh a rhyme!

Love me for my cruckid smile, love me for my strops,
Hug me for my pudgy tum and adore my thinning locks.
See me as "the one you love" no matter what I do,
think my dodgy eye is cute,  love me through and through.

• Know am getting back to old self. Back to blogging around 3 times a day with nothing interesting to say. Just hoping that someone will tell me that have gained my "sparkle" back soon. Happen to think am very funny person with lots of sparkle. Do not see why would have ever lost said "sparkle" as never really changed - Always been me.  Actually, they can kiss my shitter. Am one big fuck off spangly sparkle and arseholes to those who think I aint!
• No key to flat or big warm duffle coat OR Ipod as all left in Stoke-On-Trent when in drunken state.  Means very cold, very lonely walk to work with no entertainment. Tried to humour myself with making up song words to "The ting tings" ... Only got as far as:-

"They Call me Adie, Cos am a Gay-deeee
They call me sexy, cos am dyslexeeeeee
Thats not my name... Thats not my name"
 
I know what you are thinking right now. I missed my vocation in life as a singer/songwriter... Well guys, you've either got it, or you aint...

• Having a takeaway/DVD (ENCHANTED!!!) night tonight. Am excited. Nothing usually happens in the week until a Thursday so fact that am not just going to sit on my own all night thrills me to the point of orgasm!

xxx

• 

I realised this morning while getting ready that I found something odd strangely attractive.  This has encouraged me to write a list of odd features that would possibly attract me to someone.

Firstly the odd one I discovered this morning...

• If someone has a shirt on, and you can see they are wearing a t shirt underneath as their top button is undone, I find this attractive. I dont know where this strange fondness came from but its definitely there. In the same way, if they are not wearing a t shirt and u can see the beginning of a hairy chest, I think that looks pretty.
• Big eyebrows. Have always quite liked big eyebrows. Am not quite into the whole "monobrow" thing that some guys have going on but like caterpillers.
• Hairy chest. Could never see myself with someone who waxed, shaved,Imac'd themselves or was not naturally a hairy fairy. I dont think theres anything better than a hairy chest on someone. Something to stroke while cuggling!
• Nice teeth. I was not blessed with nice teeth so it seems to be something I find attractive on someone.
• A cuddle monster.. If someone likes a cuddle and is good at it then BONUS! I find myself REALLY craving hugs since I became single but I may have to bribe someone, the rate Im going.
• A personality. Strange for a gay man to say this but over everything, I like a good personality and that attracts me to someone more than anything else. If someone is only pretty but as dull as an ironing board then whats the point?
• A belly. Most peoples idea of an adonis is someone with abs or whatnot. Personally, I like to see someone with a big of something to hand on to. Out of all my relationships, I have only ever been out with one "slim" person and I found that I was more attracted to the guys with a bit of something to grab on to!

xx

Can you tell us what you appreciate the most about the sales representative?
I can't speak highly enough of Adrian Williams. He is by far, the BEST sales representative I've ever come across in the last 7 years of dealing with shipping companies. He responded to ALL my emails or calls literally within a few minutes. He has a can do attitude and resolves any issues I had with setting up and familiarizing myself with switching over to xxxxx. Due to the volume I've been shipping, he referred me to another department who managed to get me superb rates. This means that I was able to "ditch" Royal Mail and ship 95% of my packages with XXXXX.
Sadly, he's no longer my account manager as I’m apparently dealing with the executive team.
He is what I call the epitome of the perfect sales representative. I would work with him if given the chance. It was due to his exceptional level of service that I decided to go with xxxxx instead of DHL who was offering me the same competitive rates.

I was looking for a sloppy song... and I found this. OFFENDED!