Tomorrow I am going back up to Stoke. I can't wait. I have not seen my family in over a month. When I don't see them, I pine for them.. Usually if I dont see them in 3 weeks, I can feel myself getting edgy on the few days before going to see them. After over 4 weeks of not seeing them though, I actually managed a breakdown. It felt as though over the Christmas period, I had done nothing that made me feel in the spirit of things. I hadn't put up a Christmas tree, nor Christmas decorations. I wasn't there to smell the pate as my mum made it for the 5000, I didn't bear witness to Jaya trying to smuggle chocolates off the tree. I hadn't seen my family to discuss our christmas plans which just meant that all in all, I was feeling very very unhappy. I wondered around playing the puppy clown whore as I always do, but inside something was building up.
It came to a head last Thursday when I got home from work and tried to start wrapping some Christmas presents. One thing led to another and I became an evil troll beast from hell and was absolutely vile to The Cuddle Whore, who remained patient and understanding during my strop. He came around in super quick time to try and sort me out but I seemed to be filled with what can only be described as "something." After a lot of "talking it out," we decided that I needed to do something Christmassy with my family when I went up to Stoke, so I gave Dame Kazduck a call to discuss my requirements. I asked if we could do something to get me in a Christmassy mood on Christmas Eve when I was up and as she was going to be busy on Christmas eve, she responded that she really didn't know if she would have the time. I attempted to get off the phone before the tears started rolling but failed miserably and ended up in a full sobbing mess, the cuddle whore sat next to me stroking my leg and giving me hugs and my mum reassuring me that we would make time to do something "christmassy" on Christmas eve.
The next day, the cuddle whore took me to a few shops and was insistent on me getting some Christmas decorations for my bedroom so that I could tack the place up. He brought around tinsel and coloured lights from his mums house and I got an array of tack from Wilkinsons and the 99p store, inclusive of a little real Christmas tree from Wilkos with glitter in it! We spent Friday night putting up all of the decorations and for the first time this year, I got a bit of a warm Christmassy glow. I have got a lot to thank him for.
So I decided to book an extra day off work so that I could see my family just them few hours earlier. Bev is going to come and get me tomorrow because I have several bags of pressies to take up with me!
Im really gonna miss the cuddle whore though. He's coming up on 26th to come to a family party.. But I'll miss the little bugger in the meantime. He's been great..
Hope that all of you are in festive spirits. I will post before Christmas day.
Ad
xxx
