Last night I was miserable with no good reason. I went for a lovely meal at the Cuddle Whores sisters and then when we returned home, a dark cloud set itself squarely above my head and proceeded to piss all over me (no, am not talking watersports.)
I managed to wind myself up to the point where I completely tired myself out and then went to sleep. I think a big part of me is always thinking that I am not good enough for Sean or indeed, not good enough for anyone! Why? Well, because I dont earn enough to support us and to buy him all the luxuries I believe he deserves, not good enough because I dont drive, and not good enough because I sometimes look in the mirror and feel physically sick at what is staring back at me. How have I managed to catch such a beautiful creature?! I sit and wonder what on earth he sees in me, and as I cant see what it is, I convince myself that one day he will wake up and realise that there really isn't that much to me. I am a Very paranoid android! The one thing that I have found though, is that Sean has the patience that could only be compared to that of a Nun. He talks things through with me, tells me why Im wrong about what Im thinking.. He is even taking me for a meal tonight, because I was a twat last night... If I wasn't the biggest pessimist this side of the continent, I would almost say that he really does love ME. Bizarre. Nice, but bizarre.
xxx
